Family Size Chicken Pie

 

Ah, the classic favorite. Chicken pot pie... now available in family size! Always wondered how grandma made it? Well, this might not be exactly what she did, but moms everywhere (or at least mine) say it tastes just like home.

First off, preheat your oven to 350 degrees and grab a 13x9 glass baking dish. (It'll also fit in 9x9 and be a bit thicker, if that's what you'd prefer.) Lightly spray the bottom of the pan with cooking spray, then give a rough chop to a small onion.

Take two moderately sized carrots (the real ones, not baby carrots) and slice them up. If you slice them like I did here (about 1/4 inch) they'll have just a little crunch to them when they're cooked. If you like your carrots more tender, slice them thinner. (Boyfriend likes his crunchy, mom likes hers tender . . . so it was very hard to please my taste testers.)

Dig through your freezer until you find a bag of frozen peas. Pour out about a cup of them into a small bowl.

Put a skillet over low heat and add all those yummy vegetables to it. Drizzle them with olive oil (a light coating is all they need) and stir them up until they're mixed together . . .

. . . Then cover those suckers up so they steam while they simmer! (They'll cook up faster and more evenly.)










Ah, good ol' Campbell's . . . get a can of Cream of Chicken and empty it into a small saucepan over low heat.


(If you don't have cream of chicken, cream of celery or cream of mushroom would work also.)

Fill the (now empty) can with milk (yes, milk, not water. It's not "cream" of anything if you mix it with water, it's a watered down mess) and add that to your saucepan with the condensed soup.

It will look pretty nasty, but just keep stirring it.

Eventually, it will look like this. Once it's all creamy and combined, set it aside and turn off the heat.

 Take 4 chicken tenders (or 2 chicken breasts) and chop them into bite sized pieces.

* * REMEMBER: always use a plastic or glass cutting board for meat - never wooden! We don't need anyone dying of salmonella they picked up off of rotten bacteria that assimilated into your porous wood.





Once all your chicken is cut up, add it into your veggie concoction. Go ahead and put the lid in the sink, you won't need it for the chicken. Keep an eye on the skillet, stirring it every so often, for about 3-5 minutes until the chicken is mostly cooked.

 Now comes the fun part - seasoning! Pot pie has always been done with the simple seasoning of salt and pepper (if you want to go gourmet, use coarse salt and fresh ground pepper.) However, I chose to add some extra flavor and spice by using the Zesty Apple Rub from the Pepper Palace. If you're into different and unusual spices, check them out here.




Dash on your spices to taste - a few sprinkles of salt, 5-10 grinds of pepper, a few dashes of the apple rub... whatever suits you!

Take half of your cream of chicken soup and pour it into the bottom of the pan so it covers the whole bottom with a thin layer.

 Add in your mostly-cooked-veggies-and-chicken on top - take care to make sure everything is evenly distributed! The peas tend to like to wait until the end to fall out, little buggers.







Pour the rest of your soup on top in an even layer.

Get a pack of 8 "flaky" biscuits. (I learned my lesson and got the name brand this time.) Once you've completed the daunting task of getting the things out of their spiral death package, peel apart each biscuit by the little layers - this might take some work, but you'll get the hang of it! Each biscuit should easily separate into 3 layers.

 Lay the layers on top of the veggies and chicken, overlapping each other. Work each one in your hands a little to stretch it out a bit before placing it down. You should only use 4 biscuits (12 individual layers) for a 13x9 pan, so throw the rest on a small cookie sheet and put them in the oven with your chicken pie! (They'll be done in 15-20 minutes.)

25 minutes or so after you've put it in the oven (and 5-10 minutes after you remove your leftover biscuits) it will be done! Take it out and enjoy. :-)

(My mother stole a serving before I could snap a picture, so forgive the missing corner.)

Honey Nut Cream Cheese

The products you see in the photo above are all you need to make the most delicious cream cheese you've ever tasted. I don't care if honey nut cream cheese isn't even your flavor of choice to top your bagel with... (mine is strawberry...) I promise this recipe will change your mind.

You see, I believe cream cheese, like so many other foods, is just one of those things that was meant to have things added into it. Like... vanilla ice cream, pasta, or yogurt. They're all good by themselves, but adding the right ingredients just makes them magical.

So, here's how to create some downright magical cream cheese.

Start off with a small handful of your favorite type of nut. I chose pecans, but walnuts, almonds, or even peanuts would work, too. Grab a REALLY SHARP knife and chop them up into tiny little pieces. (If you're lazy, you can also toss them into a food processor and pulse them a few times.)

Into your mixing bowl, add the following things:

+ 8oz of softened cream cheese
+ 2 tablespoons (ish) of honey
+ 2 tablespoons (ish) of brown sugar
+ 1 teaspoon (ish) of vanilla
+ A few dashes of cinnamon
+ The itty bitty pieces of nuts you chopped up a minute ago

I know I'm getting real scientific with my measurements in this one but that's because it's really all just to your taste... I didn't really measure, just guessed and threw it all in and hoped for the best.

Blend. Start off on low speed but eventually crank it up to medium-high. You want to make sure everything is mixed in well.
 

You may need to stop a time or two and scrape off the beater to make sure it's all mixing evenly.

Once everything is nicely incorporated, scrape off the sides of the bowl and give the cream cheese a final stir with your utensil of choice.

Grab a bagel. Toast it. Slather it with your newest genius creation. (I include this step because it will, inevitably, happen. It is impossible to make this and NOT enjoy it immediately.)

Store the rest in an airtight container and place it in its new happy home in the fridge. If you don't want to share, you may have to cover it with another food item that no one will be moving any time soon or menacing notes telling of the demise of whoever steals it.

The Easiest Chicken Pasta Ever

Whether you need to feed just yourself or your whole family, try out this recipe and watch how fast it becomes a staple when planning weekly meals! Everyone loves Italian-style food and this dish is so good your family will be wondering if you cheated and brought home Olive Garden take-out!

Start off by filling a large sauce pan 2/3 full of water and putting it on the stove over high heat. Salt the water with a hefty amount of coarsely ground salt - this will add a salty flavor to the pasta without having to add extra.

You can add a bit of olive oil too. Just a teaspoon or two will do - it will keep the pasta from sticking together while it cooks. Now, while you wait for that water to boil, you can take care of the rest of your prep...

Grab a small-medium onion and finely chop it. Set them aside in a small dish. You can use more or less onion based on your taste - this amount for this recipe serving 6 will give a distinct onion taste without being too overpowering.

Get 2-3 large cloves of garlic. Peel and mince them. Set that aside in the same dish as the onion. If you don't have fresh garlic on hand, you can also use the pre-minced kind that you can buy in a jar from the grocery store. (Use 2 teaspoons or so.) Personally, there's nothing more satisfying to me than crushing a clove under my knife, peeling it, and chopping the sticky delicious substance myself - but maybe I'm just crazy?

Did I mention you may not want to kiss anyone after this meal?

Get a stick of butter (Yes, real butter. Yes, a whole stick. It's feeding 6 people - in reality it's really no more than you'd put on your pancakes or french toast.) and chop it into small cubes - about 1/2 inch or so. Set the cubed butter aside in a separate dish.

 

Take 6 thawed chicken tenders (cheaper and smaller than chicken breasts) and cut each one into bite-sized pieces. (They cook much faster if you chop them before cutting them!)

And never, ever, EVER cut raw meat on the same cutting board or with the same knife that you plan on using later for a non-meat item! I saved the meat for last to avoid this potentially very serious health hazard!

Put a medium-large frying pan over low heat and coat the bottom in a thin layer of olive oil (adds a touch of flavor and keeps the food from sticking or burning!) Extra virgin olive oil is really the only oil you should ever cook with - ever - but if your household is too cheap to carry olive oil or simply hates the taste, canola or vegetable oil will also suffice.

While you're letting that oil heat up a little, your water should be boiling by now, so add a whole box of your favorite pasta. I chose linguine but you can use whatever you like! Make sure the water is at a "rolling boil" when you add the pasta (them bubbles should be fierce!). Turn the heat down to medium after you've added the pasta - it will still be hot enough to keep the water boiling.

 Keep an eye on the clock - nine minutes after you've put the pasta in the water, it should be done at about the al dente texture.


While you were doing all that, your oil was slowly warming up and should now be toasty enough to rapidly cook your chicken pieces. Carefully drop them into the pan - the oil may spatter, so watch your hands and eyes! If you get oil on your hands, rinse them for about a minute under really cold water. If it gets in your eyes, flush them out for a few minutes with clean (NOT TAP) water.

Provided your hands and eyes are intact and you didn't get any oil on them, you should be able to keep an eye on the chicken, move it around in the pan, and make sure all the pieces are being evenly cooked. After a few minutes, when they're white on all sides, add the onion and garlic you put aside earlier.

Stir it around so everything is evenly distributed on the pan and stir it fairly consistently. If you keep your pan on a medium-low heat, everything should cook evenly in good time.

You were watching the clock, right? Once that nine-minute mark hits, drain your pasta over the sink. (Watch out for steam - it can burn if you're too close!) Don't turn off your burner - keep it on low and as soon as you empty the pasta out of the saucepan, put it right back on the burner.

Once you've let your pasta drain for a few moments, toss it right back in the saucepan. Add the butter you put aside earlier, and stir it into the pasta until it's completely melted. Try not to have a heart attack at how much butter is being used. I promise - it's really not so bad.

Once the butter is COMPLETELY melted (that's really important!) add about 3/4 cup of parmesean cheese - the finely shredded kind that comes in the plastic container you get in the grocery store is totally fine. It's (mostly) legit cheese and it melts a lot faster and more easily. Anyway, add the cheese and, again, stir it in until it's melted!

Now comes the good part! Your chicken, onion, and garlic concoction should still be simmering away quietly on the burner next door... give it a final stir to make sure it's all cooked through, then turn off the burner and empty the contents of the pan into your butter-and-cheese-coated-pasta-filled sauce pan. Stir it all up until it's evenly distributed.

Turn off the burner under the saucepan once everything is all mixed together and serve! You might want to dish it out individually so your family doesn't take more than their fair share - this pasta is so good they may try and dish out the whole pot for themselves! ;-)

 

Crescent Pizza Rolls

For real, crescent rolls are probably one of the most versatile pre-packaged foods ever. If you're craving pizza but can't afford to get delivery (or DiGiorno), try these out. You probably have most of these ingredients laying around the house.

Start with a package of pre-packaged crescent rolls. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees (or whatever the package specifies, but it's typically 375).

Open the package and unroll them, separating them into the pre-sliced triangles and lying them flat on a baking sheet.

Grab a can of pureed tomatoes and pour about a half cup or so out. Put the rest in a sealed container and throw it in the fridge for later. (Tell your mom you saved her some trouble on her next batch of spaghetti sauce. Works like a charm.) Use a spoon to ladle about a tablespoon or so of the tomato onto each triangle at the wide end.

Get about a half cup of your favorite cheese (or whatever kind happens to be in the fridge). I chose Parmesan. Using a spoon or your fingers, sprinkle the cheese over top of the tomato until you can't see much red.

Dig through your spice cabinet and grab 2-3 that you like. You can use whatever you want - this is where it can get fun! :) I used basil, red pepper, and garlic.

You may want to include mouthwash as an after dinner course.

Put a few dashes of each spice on top of the cheese - don't go too crazy, a little goes a long way!

Once they are seasoned to your satisfaction, roll those suckers up (starting from the wide end). If you got the cheap knockoff brand like I did, they might be a little difficult to roll up, but persevere! As long as they're sort of in a rolled up shape when you're done, they'll bake just fine. ;) Since you probably spent quite a bit of time struggling to roll them, the oven should be preheated by the time you're done, so get that baking sheet in there and set a timer for 12-15 minutes.

 Resist the urge to stand in front of the oven and watch them cook . . . I promise, it legit makes time go slower. Instead, go to a nearby computer and check Facebook and listen for the timer to go off. Depending on your oven, they should be done by the 15 minute mark but possibly as soon as 12 minutes.

Voila! The perfect appetizer for 2-3 people to share.

Or, if you're me, just enough for a lonely dinner on a Thursday night home alone.

Don't judge me . . .